I just passed the half way mark in my life and leadership coach certification training, 6 months to go. In addition to learning how to coach clients in all aspects of life, I have a coach that I meet with every week. So, like my clients, I am going through my sh** too. And like many of you creative entrepreneurs and passion hustlers can attest to: your own business, your own sh**, is often last in line, because let's face it, it's the hardest.
Here are some over arching patterns that are showing up in my life. I'm going to relate them to music, because, that's what I do (re: pattern).
But first, let me share a tool with you that shows where my sh** turns up the most. Draw a triangle and in each individual corner write Me -- Others -- God. You can use another term like Spirit, Love, Soul, Universe, The Cubs. The word God and God as a theory, and God as the universal ruler of all things brings up a lot of sh** for a lot of people, I get it. Think of something, outside of yourself, or others, that you deeply admire, maybe quality like Love or Compassion or, if you are a spiritual person, maybe it's the Universe. Do you see where I am looking? Something outside of you or me. Ok.
Let's start with my first pattern: Be a strong woman.
What does that even mean? A working woman, working mom, business woman, entrepreneur, self-care advocate, playdate mom, yogi, a doer of all things. I rely on myself to get 'er done. The hustle, the grind, the struggle I see pinned all over social media....it's exhausting. What am I trying to prove, that I am strong? Who cares? That I don't need anyone's help? G-Eazy feels me.
Oh, it's just me, myself and I
Solo ride until I die
Cause I got me for life
Oh I don't need a hand to hold
Even when the night is cold
I got that fire in my soul
Once I was able to recognize the hustle, grind and struggle wasn't serving my life's purpose, and that with or without the approval of social media, I am a strong woman, I was able to put that story to bed. Coaching is 90% awareness of the choices you make and why.
Pattern two: That devil inside.
Why did I still have that doubting voice in my head, doubting me? Sometimes I think the only difference between me and the crazy people on the streets talking to themselves is that they are talking out loud. See how I have been trying to tame my gremlin voices here. At this point in my journey I started lean on the Others side of the triangle, because, let's face it, every single one of us has the devil inside. Sound familiar?
Talking with my coach on a weekly basis has been how I have been able to bend this pattern, it's not broken, but it's bending. Doubt, self-worth, self-hate is often embedded in us from such an early age that we believe it's the truth, when in reality it's an interpretation, it's not real. There really isn't a devil inside me, or any of you, we just aren't perfect, never have been never will. My devil comes out with my kids. I have 4 of them. 2 stepkids and 2 of my own. It's a zoo most days, people have called it chaos, but it's real life for me. The power I have is to choice to come from *that bitchy mom who is always grumpy* or from love. It's a daily choice. And I am not perfect.
Third pattern: Manifest that sh**
This is the God, Universe, Spirit, Soul, Magic corner of the triangle. Ok, so far we have seen how relying solely on yourself is exhausting (Me), and how other people can help you get out of your head and into your heart (Others). So what about your spiritual side? I'm a yogi, my favorite part of the class is when the teacher says, "The light and love in me honors and respects the light and love in you." What's that light? Energy? Spirit? Good will? It's all of it.
I don't have the answer, my guess is that no one does. It's a personal decision that ranges from love to hate to fear. Since I have been working with my coach, I'm present to the magic and spirit all around me. Basically, if your mindset is in the right place, good sh** happens. Case and point: I tagged our co-founder, Julie, on the Boden IG feed, and out of 255 people we won two outfits. She, like me, is always down for a terrible idea.
A big piece coaching is to create your future based on the experience you want to have in your life. As a brand strategist and designer, this is right up my alley and what I have come to find is that strategy, like manifestation, is simply planning your future experience. And that takes some faith. Faith in yourself, others and what the world is going to throw at you. No one can predict the future, but we can create the experience we want to have and start to manifest it. And with this short time on earth, I suggest getting started today.
And this brings me to Jill Scott, who is an angel on earth, living her life like it's golden. This song helped me get out of a depression about a decade ago...but that's another story.
I'm taking my freedom,
Pulling it off the shelf,
Putting it on my chain,
Wear it around my neck,
I'm taking my freedom,
Putting it in my car,
Wherever I choose to go,
It will take me far,
I was at the library with my kiddos today and picked up Kid President's book. On the back it said:
"This is life people. You got air coming through your nose, you got a heartbeat. That means it's time do do something."
So, go do something, break something, notice something, hear something, it's all here for us to explore and learn from and manifest some sh**.